Teddy Wants To Look Like Angelina Jolie

January 31, 2011
With only a few months to go till Fopsie's wedding, Teddy was working overtime to find a fancy gown to wear as her BBF's (Best Bear Friend's) maid of honor. The Internet seemed like a snazzy place to brainstorm.

Weddings.com had some terrific ideas. Teddy had never thought of a mini dress! Or wearing a crystal headband! Or glass shoes! But then Teddy thought of her ideal gown: the yellow princess number Angelina Jolie wore to the Cannes Film Festival some years back.

Would that look be too flashy? Too glamorous? Too eye-popping? Teddy didn't want to outshine Fopsie (or did she? Wink wink). For advice, Teddy went to harpersbazaar.com.

SIGH. Teddy wish she were getting married all over again. The wedding dresses are so much prettier than the maid of honor choices. Maybe she can talk Nibs into renewing their vows!!!

Oh no, here Teddy goes again!

Herbert Gets Mushy

January 28, 2011

This morning Fopsie opened her mail and was stunned to see a love note from her fiance Herbert. He has never sent a love note before! Her heart melted a little. Awww.

The Hallmark card Herbert chose was beautiful and his writings were so heartfelt. Fopsie was deeply impressed. Being engaged has some added benefits! Herbert has never been more wonderful.

This love note sending stuff is new to Fopsie. Before Herbert came along she was Miss Career Woman. She didn't know how to respond (with flowers? chocolates?) so she called (guess who?) Teddy for advice. (Why anyone calls Teddy for advice is hard to understand, but Fopsie seems to think everyones favorite crazy bear is actually kinda sane.)

Teddy suggested Fopsie respond with a poem. A POEM? Gadzooks!

Eggs A La Teddy

January 27, 2010

With all this wedding talk, Teddy wanted to do something nice for Nibs. So she made herself breakfast for a change. Teddy thinks she makes the best eggs on the planet so she wants to share her recipe. Ingredients: 2 eggs, some slices of very sharp Cheddar cheese, and a pinch of minced onions.

First Teddy adds some butter in a non stick pan then tosses in some minced onions (the dehydrated kind have more flavor; freshly cut onions are too watery) then cracks her eggs into the pan.

Next, flip the eggs then put the cheddar cheese slices on top. Teddy likes SHARP cheddar cheese because there is more flavor.

"The cheese will never melt properly if you don't put a lid over the eggs to seal in the heat," says Teddy.

Just seconds later the eggs are done! Teddy likes to eat her cheddar eggs with some whole grain toast and orange slices.

Where's Nibs? Most likely hiding from Teddy and her crazy wedding talk!

The Cameo

January 26, 2011
Endora asked to meet Fopsie in Roxbury Park for a little talk. Fopsie was nervous because Teddy's stories about Endora's meanness still haunted her. But Fopsie went anyway. After all, Endora was soon going to become Fopsie's mother in law!

They exchanged pleasantries and Endora said, "Welcome to the family!"

Then Endora surprised Fopsie by presenting her with a family heirloom: a cameo that was once worn by Endora's grandmother.

Fopsie was so pleased that Endora was truly showing her full support for the upcoming wedding to Herbert that she attached the cameo to her pearl necklace right away.

All these bad reports about Endora seem so false. Fopsie just can't imagine Teddy's aunt as a meanie.

Martha Stewart's Weddings, Of Course

January 25, 2011
There was no pause button for Teddy once Fopsie broke the news that she was now engaged to Herbert. Teddy immediately went out and bought the best wedding magazines for the two of them to peruse.

Teddy suggested Fopsie wear a long, white, silk gown, then added that's what she wore when she tied the knot with Nibs 10 years ago on a bluff in Santa Barbara.

Fopsie thanked Teddy for her advice, but said she was more interested in lace.

Then Fopsie surprised Teddy by asking her to be her maid of honor. "Yes, of course, I'd be honored!" said Teddy. As you may have already guessed, TEDDY LOVES WEDDINGS!

Poor Nibs. He will have to endure Teddy's wedding talk for months.

Teddy Measures Up

January 24, 2011
This morning Nibs noticed Teddy weeping at the dining room table and asked her what was wrong.

Teddy said she read on wikipedia.com that BSS (Bear Shrinking Syndrome) was hereditary so she's afraid she'll get Aunt Endora's devilish condition. Nibs offered to measure Teddy to prove to her that she's not shrinking.

Teddy came out at one foot exactly, which is the same height she was when she met Nibs 10 years ago. Teddy was relieved.

Teddy kept looking at the measuring tape, wondering quietly what it would like to go down to 10 inches, 5 inches, then finally 1 inch. BSS must be frightening!

Poor AE. Teddy will have to be very nice to her now, forgetting all that cruelty AE unleashed on her decades ago. Soon AE will be the size of a small bug! Teddy hopes the old lady never gets stepped on.

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner...

January 21, 2011
Teddy thought it wise to throw a dinner party at her house so Aunt Endora could meet Fopsie under formal circumstances. Teddy's sister Felicia also came for support.

Nibs was nervous about the party not because of the possible tension between Endora, Herbert's mother, and Fopsie, Herbert's soon to be wife; Nibs was just worried that he'd get food poisoning again from Teddy's awful cooking. (That Teddy!)

Interestingly, there were no mean jabs or tension. Instead there was an announcement over dessert: Aunt Endora told all present that she had BSS (Bear Shrinking Syndrome) and that's why she had become so small. In just a few years she would be the size of an ant!

Herbert was very sad and told his mother that he would do everything he could to make sure she gets the best medical attention.

Endora said thanks but she knew what lay ahead: life as a very, very, very small bear. She then added that she wished for Herbert to marry soon. She wanted to see her son happy with a nice wife. Then she asked, "Have you and Fopsie discussed marriage?" He replied yes.

Fopsie almost choked on a blackberry. Not only does Herbert want to marry her, but they have the blessing of his mother Endora! Sadly, the joy was overshadowed by the news of Endora's awful condition. Everyone noticed she had gotten smaller but no one guessed she had BSS!

Herbert Opens His Heart

January 20, 2011
Herbert didn't want Fopsie to be stressed over meeting his mother Endora so he asked his girl to meet him at Roxbury Park for a heart to heart talk over a casual picnic.

Ever since they started dating, Herbert has avoided the topic of commitment. But not today. Fopsie didn't get the cue and seemed more interested in the cookies...

"Fopsie, I love you and want to marry you!" Herbert said all of a sudden.

Fopsie gave Herbert a big smooch and said hooray! Finally these two are engaged!

Cupcakes For Breakfast

January 19, 2011
Teddy was so distressed over the thought of all the doom and gloom the devilish Aunt Endora could cast over her best friend Fopsie's relationship with her cousin Herbert that Teddy called for an emergency 10 am meeting with Fops. Cupcakes from Dolce Isola on Robertson Boulevard, the bakery for The Ivy restaurants, were served.

Fopsie begged for advice on how to deal with Herbert's mother. Teddy said she had no clue how to win over the old AE. For decades Teddy has tried to appease her aunt to no avail.

Fopsie was quite put out. She really, really, really wants to marry Herbert and doesn't want his mom messing things up. She is certain Aunt Endora will demand Herbert move back to England. There must be a way to win the lady over!

Teddy knew she should be helping her pal out, but all she could think of was the Red Velvet cupcake that was in front of her. Teddy is simple in many ways. Put sugar near her paws and she zones out.

The cupcake sure looks yummy doesn't it? How many bites do you think it took Teddy to finish the thing?

She's Hereeeeeeeeee!

January 17, 2010

You won't believe who knocked on Teddy's door today! AUNT ENDORA!!! Herbert's dreaded mother! Teddy is quite frightened of her because when Teddy was young, AE was mean, even once calling her fat.

Teddy trembled as she offered Herbert's mother a seat on the sofa. AE immediately started asking questions, like when she could meet Teddy's friend Fopsie, who had "managed to catch the eye of my son Herbert"?

But then Teddy noticed something off about AE: she was much smaller than Teddy recalled. Had she shrunk? Or had Teddy been so terrified of her aunt when she was a wee cub that she just thought of her as larger than life?

Teddy was cordial enough, offering her aunt caramels with sea salt from Williams-Sonoma. But she didn't know what to say except that Fopsie was an exceptional bear and perfect for Herbert.

After 20 minutes AE seemed like she'd had enough of Teddy's chit chat so she got up and made her way toward the door. "Tell your friend Fopsie to call me," she barked. "I'll be staying at the Beverly Hills Hotel." And with that mini menace was gone!

Real Marathon

January 14, 2010
No one has heard from Teddy lately because she's been deeply entranced in a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills marathon! Kyle, a mom of four, is Teddy's favorite.

Like Teddy, Kyle can be feisty and very to-the-point. Kyle also quarrels with her sister Kim, just like Teddy fights with her sister Felicia.

And Kyle has a nice, stable husband named Mauricio who is not too unlike Nibs.

The one thing Kyle has that Teddy doesn't have is a nemesis like Camille Grammer. Teddy will have to find a frenemy stat.

Is Teddy nutty or what?

Bears, Bears and More Bears

January 12, 2011
While looking through Boyds Bears 2011 Mini Wall Calendar, Teddy was stunned by all the marvelous photographs. Check out this bear who asks us to "Bee Happy."

Then there is the Easter bunny, er, I mean Easter bear.

Halloween, Teddy's favorite holiday, is fun too.

And then there's Xmas!

There are so many different bears is this world, aren't there?

Boyds Bears

January 11, 2010
After downing a large chocolate croissant for breakfast, Teddy took some time to catch up on her latest copy of Marie Claire magazine. That's when Nibs interrupted her. But the interruption wasn't entirely annoying. He brought a gift: a Boyds Bears 2011 Mini Wall Calendar.

"Teddy, you seemed so down about having no plans on your old calendar that I thought I'd at least give you a pretty calendar to look at. Maybe that will brighten your year," said Nibs.

"Thanks Nibs," said Teddy. "Should I put down a weekend to Santa Barbara in January?" That Teddy!